


Can we just fall

by indiemokilala



Category: 4minute (Band)
Genre: 2yoon, 4minute - Freeform, F/F, ssangyoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26012284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiemokilala/pseuds/indiemokilala
Summary: A lot of falling involved.
Relationships: Heo Gayoon/Jeon Jiyoon
Kudos: 1





	Can we just fall

**i.**

After all these years, Jiyoon still wanted the same thing. Over and over again.

She wanted to be better. She still trained everyday. She studied every night. 

But no matter how long she tried, it felt dry. Everything looked dull. 

Whenever she closed her eyes, tears only greeted her. It was the only constant thing she had. 

Some nights though, Gayoon would visit her apartment, and she would welcome her with her familiar scent. Sometimes it would be enough. And sometimes, when it wasn’t, she would hold Jiyoon a little bit longer.

Gayoon assured her every time, she didn’t need to be better. She was more than enough. Jiyoon didn’t know what she meant by that.

But it was enough for her to get through the night.

**ii.**

This was the last performance of Jiyoon. More than 300 came in for her, 800 maybe. Years of training, all of it gone at the last second of her song. She was getting teary-eyed, her bangs almost reaching her tired eyes, poking them until she couldn’t stop the tears. She bowed at the audience before the darkness enveloped her. 

No encore. 

She was just falling. She knew. But it did not hurt to try, right?

Except all she felt was pain, and she’s still just falling.

The audience pulled her back to reality. They were clapping for her. She stood up proud and thanked everyone. _She’ll cut her bangs after this_ , was all she could think of. 

“Jiyoonie, I love you!” It was a faint scream from someone familiar. Buried right away from the crowd when people chanted her name for the last time.

Jiyoon held Gayoon’s hand that night. Both a little bit drunk. The girl shouted _fuck you_ to the training room, _fuck you_ to the recording studio. And more _fuck yous_ on her own shadow. They walked away from the agency’s office, swaying on the slurs of the alcohol. Giggling on how dare she uttered those words.

“You know, Gayoon.” Jiyoon pulled the brunette girl closer, the scent of alcohol stronger than the other girl’s scent. “I heard you there. A while ago.”

“Yeah?” Gayoon licked her lips, probably dried from the coldness of the night. Or from the longing of the other girl’s lips.

“Yeah. Loud and clear.” Jiyoon smiled. She could see the stars in the girl’s eyes. It was too bright for her, so she moved closer, waited until Gayoon closed them both. Jiyoon helped her with those dry lips, enjoyed the taste of alcohol and those sweet sweet scent of hers.

She may be drunk. But she knew there were more than stars in Gayoon's eyes.

**iii.**

She was furious at her. “Don’t tell me you’re brave! Don’t tell me you never gave up!”

Gayoon never dared to wipe those tears on her face. And Jiyoon didn’t know what to do. Her shoulders fell in defeat. Everything’s gone. 

Wouldn’t it hurt if everything’s gone?

“You’re afraid. You’re just afraid to fall.” Gayoon reached out and pulled her closer to her. 

“I’m always falling, I'm constantly falling. Have you seen my career? It was my life over there. But I did not give up.” Jiyoon felt tears on her eyes building up. It’s her bangs fault _again._ “But now, it’s over. I’m done. I failed. So, please Gayoon. Don’t tell me I’m afraid to fall, when all my life that’s all I felt.” 

Jiyoon felt the other girl’s hands, loosening her grip. “So, what are we?”

“Friends.” 

“Friends? Wh-what are you--”

“...Yes, Gayoon. Friends.”

Gayoon laughed softly, or that’s what she was trying to do. Jiyoon didn’t know. She couldn’t look straight at her. 

_She’s done trying_. That’s what she’s been doing her life. Would it hurt to give up on this one?

She felt a soft brush on her lips. A second ghost of breath.

“Okay. Friends then.” 

When she opened her eyes, Gayoon had already left. The sound of the shut door echoed in her apartment.

She left. And in that split second, she managed to get Jiyoon’s heart as well.

**iv.**

Jiyoon’s out of breath. And she kept on thinking her ribs were broken. Or it might have been.

She’s crying. _God, she’s ugly crying._ And Sohyun’s laughing at her.

And Gayoon-she, she looked fragile. Her face smudged with some dirt and blood.

_She has blood on her face._

Jiyoon held her hand tighter. She’s never seen this girl more fragile. She’s broken and yet so _beautiful_.

It’s sad. And she couldn’t let her go.

“Jiyoon please don’t be a damn baby and let me go.” Gayoon hissed.

“But Sohyun said you fell and--”

“I fell on the horse cause it got startled by a squirrel-or or I don’t know, a mouse? But I’ll be fine.” Gayoon squeezed her hand on Jiyoon’s. “I might have broken a bone somewhere, but _please_ Jiyoon. I’m in no way dying right now. So you can let go of my hand and let the doctors do their job.”

Gayoon’s avoided her for months, after being _friends_ . And Jiyoon did not have any courage to talk to her. How could she? She’s afraid she might have cut something on Gayoon’s, like a deep wound that needed some healing. So, she gave her space. She gave her the time and waited. _There’s no need to rush_ , she thought whenever she would look at the phone and have no signs of Gayoon.

Until she received a phone call from Sohyun that day. _She’s not moving. She was unconscious for a while._

Sohyun uttered a short sorry for making her panic. Jiyoon’s been calmed by one of the nurses in the hospital while Gayoon’s been taken away for some tests.

She also said that she cried so ugly, and a lot of people were already looking at them. People’s staring at them, but Jiyoon didn’t care. 

Gayoon fell. And she wasn’t there.

She couldn’t breathe. It felt like her lungs were being torn apart. 

**v.**

They were fighting.

Jiyoon was very supportive of Gayoon. She was always by her side. She never missed any of the other girl’s therapies. She never left.

She never let Gayoon trip or slip whenever they were together. 

But they were fighting. Jiyoon wondered, _was it bad to avoid her from getting hurt?_

“Look. I’m just trying to be a friend here.”

“Really, Jiyoon? A _friend?”_

Jiyoon just couldn’t bear the pain of not being by her side. Not anymore. “What do you want me to do? I can’t let you get hurt. What if you fall right now?”

Gayoon laughed. “ _Jiyoonie…”_ That was the first time she heard Gayoon called her like that again--like calling her meant more than the world. She missed that, that voice that could calm even the meanest storms. 

“You need to look. _Really_ , _look at us._ I’ve seen you fight almost all your life. You are strong. You are brave. You made it all through your ups and downs. But, I--I can take care of myself too. I am strong. I am a fighter as well, Jiyoori.”

Jiyoon bit her lip. She couldn’t look at her. She’s terrified of what she would see, or what Gayoon would see if their eyes met. 

“I’m just asking for one chance. Can we--can we just fall?”

“But what if it hurt?” Jiyoon sighed.

“Oh, but we will get hurt.” Jiyoon watched as Gayoon let go of her walking crane. She’s not sure what the other girl was gonna do next, so she watched her intently. She watched her lips move. She looked at her eyes, her _damn_ eyes that were looking straight at her soul. “We will feel more than having broken bones, or whatever. But we will live.”

Gayoon smiled. And she took a step towards her. Jiyoon made one step closer, while taking an eye on Gayoon’s legs. She watched closer, finding any sign of tremble on her steps. 

Jiyoon was ready. She was ready to catch Gayoon if she fell. She watched the other girl, limping to get closer to her. Ang Jiyoon knew what would happen on the next few ones, yet, she could only look at her. She watched the girl, with her heart on her sleeves and those stars in her eyes. 

She was _beautiful._

And when she fell, Jiyoon finally understood _everything._

Gayoon laughed on the floor and Jiyoon kneeled to face her. “I got four steps without that stupid crane, Jiyoo--”

Jiyoon caught her breath on the other girl’s lips. “Okay.”

“W-what?” Gayoon’s eyelashes fluttered, obviously taken-aback from the sudden action of Jiyoon.

“I said, okay. More than friends.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

Jiyoon chuckled. “Okay…”

“Whatever. Just kiss me again, _please_.”

Jiyoon laughed and obliged. She kissed her again, gently. She could taste the laughter escaping from their lips. And when Gayoon opened her mouth for more, Jiyoon could swear she'd lost sense of everything around them. The air felt thinner, their hearts drumming louder. She pressed her body to Gayoon closer like it was not enough to almost breathe her in.

Jiyoon opened her eyes, slowly breathing away from the kiss, her fingertips gently traced Gayoon’s face. She waited as Gayoon opened her eyes.

“So...You like that?”  
  


“Uh huh.” Gayoon beamed before Jiyoon lay on the floor beside her.  
  


Jiyoon smiled to herself as she tugged the girl closer to her. _She already had a lot of falling in her life_.

So why not, fall in love too, right?

**Author's Note:**

> I feel old, tired, and I just...really want to write. Special mention to other 4nias, hello!


End file.
